The Year of Bold
What will your 2023 be?
A few years ago, I decided to change the way I make New Year’s Resolutions. My ability to maintain specific goals each year has always been hit or miss. Sometimes I’ve managed to actually incorporate new habits, but I suspect like many people, I’m often over-ambitious in January. I can always think of the many things lacking in my life and make several resolutions, but usually by the time February rolls around, most if not all have been abandoned.
So instead of coming up with a laundry list of things to do, I’ve started coming up with a word that I use to summarize what I want the year to be. Most of the individual goals I come up with would fall under this category, anyway, and this helps me keep my focus on the big picture instead of agonizing over whether I managed to work out five times a week/keep my bedroom organized/learn Spanish/etc.
For example, in 2022, I decided to aim to have a year of Confidence. Confidence in myself is something with which I’ve always struggled. I find myself constantly second-guessing my abilities and my achievements, always afraid that there’s someone out there who will be able to figure out that I don’t really know what I’m doing. Because of this, I’ve often held back from going after the things I want, afraid of the criticism I might receive or that I won’t be successful.
With my 2022 goal in mind, I tried to make most of my decisions throughout the year with confidence. I couldn’t tell you what most of the small individual goals at the beginning of the year might have been, but I can say that many things happened in my life that couldn’t have happened if I didn’t choose to act confidently.
For starters, I had always been afraid to take the leap into self-publishing, but in 2022 I published not one but two novels: WHAT HAPPENED ON BOX HILL and COME ONE, COME ALL. It takes a lot of guts to put your book out into the world, especially without a big publisher or marketing team backing you up. When you’re doing your own press/marketing, you really have to swallow down any self-doubt and send emails and post on social media and just be ballsy. All of this was really a stretch for me, but I honestly am so happy I did it. I feel like I know myself so much better as a writer after having to work with cover designers, write press releases, do multiple interviews, email reviewers, and read comments about my work (both the good and the bad). I had so much control over my books and how they came out into the world, and for better or worse, they reflect the stories I most wanted to tell.
Another major surge of confidence came in applying for a new job. For the past few years, I’d been teaching adjunct at local universities; that experience was invaluable, but it became increasingly hard for me to feel valued as a part-time employee with no real permanence and future. Acknowledging to myself that I wanted something more was the first time I had to show some confidence; then asking for letters of recommendation and applying to new positions; then interviewing; and finally starting a totally new position. Each step in the process required me to believe in myself and my ability to do the kind of job I wanted.
I knew something had shifted in my overall confidence when I had my interview with my current new employer. Even though I’ve always gotten good feedback from students and employers with my teaching, self-doubt has often made me feel some imposter syndrome with my teaching. However, during my interview with my new school, I was a little amazed with myself at how eloquently I was able to express what I could bring to the position. I knew where I would have to adjust to fit into this new role, but I also felt completely confident in my ability to teach and to help my students become better writers. I’d spent the year practicing believing myself, and it paid off when I needed it the most.
There’s no way at the beginning of 2022 I could have anticipated this interview would be happening or could have known to make meaningful goals that would help me toward earning this new position. But since I had the big-picture goal of learning to practice confidence in myself, it helped me to shape new goals as they emerged.
So what will be my 2023 word of choice? In my personal life, I’ve decided to work toward Happiness–learning to be happy in my world as it is, not stuck in the past or longing for a future that isn’t here yet.
I may write about that more in the future as I start to figure out how that will take shape, but I’ve decided this year to also set a specific word goal for writing/publishing. As many of you know, Mike and I are trying to build up our press. One of our long-term goals has always been to bring in other talented writers. In 2023, we will be publishing our first new author, Cassondra Windwalker, whose book LOVE LIKE A CEPHALOPOD will come out in February. (More to come on that — but preorder is available now, and you can read the first chapter on our site!)
As with every move we’ve made with Bayou Wolf Press, this will be taking a step into the unknown, but I’m hoping this will be the first of many new exciting ventures as we continue to grow. With all of that in mind, my resolution is that our word for Bayou Wolf Press this year will be Bold. We will try new things, push through the fear, and yes, act in confidence as we continue to reach for our dreams.
I hope 2023 will be a great year for all of us. Do any of you have goals you’re hoping to attain, with your writing or any other part of your life? Do you have a certain word in mind when you’re thinking through your year to come? Let me know in the comments!
